What to do.

He's done it again.  He's proved to me that he doesn't have the capability to understand his actions.  He just doesn't get it.  I've looked into the definition of a sociopath and at the time I didn't think Ron was one. But with this latest action I'm not so sure.  It doesn't really matter what it was that he did.  It's just that knowing this makes me wonder if I should stay or go.  Many many times I've thought about getting my own storage unti and packing it with dishes, pots, pans, towels.  Things I would need to make the great escape. 
    Hold it a minute...!  Aren't I doing just the same thing as MY mother.
I think I'm confused....Sure my husband is a jerk.  Stupid at times, unthoughtfull, lasks feelings, doesn't cope in todays world and lives in Ron's World.   But and this is huge Kathryn....He's always there for you.  He's always there for you.  This man who lacks feelings has sat in an E.R. waiting room with you for 10 + hours.  He came to visit you in the hospital last year everyday.  Every single day....!   He does the dishes, helps out with the laundry.  Yet he isn't a very touchy, feely type of guy....!   True he isn't emotionally available, but fuck kathryn you can't expect him to be perfect..  Or do you..?
Maybe I want to bult and run because I'm the one who's emotionally unavailable.  Or I want to be the drama queen again.  I tend to freak out if I don't have a lot of drama going on.
    I'm tired of myself....!   All I want right now is some stability.  Some peace and quit in my home and in my life.  No deaths, no terminations, no moving, no drama.  Maybe vocational rehab was right.  I do have a lot going on.  It doesn't feel that way because I live it dailly.  I know I'm not actually doing anything by ways of work or volunterring.  I did try and take a class yesterday. But the school canceled it.   I did none the less find out about some new classes offered that I'm going to take.  This is the only type of drama I want at this time.  I can live with this. ! 
    All I want for Christmas is peace and quit.  A nice settlement to keep us comfortable and maybe a trip to the snow with some hot cocoa & marshmellows along side a warm fire.  You get the picture.